It's a Wonderful Life with Ugly Betty and the Crown by a Book Nerd
- Lailah Bat-Am
- Dec 20, 2023
- 13 min read
As a person whose "job is books" I would like to pretend that I don't really watch TV, but that would be a bold-faced lie. It's one of those things that you are supposed to say if you are one of the book people. The truth is that my TV watching ebbs and flows. I can't wait to turn it on to see the next episode of my latest obsession, or I can't be bothered to find the remote.
Once in a while. I find a world to escape in with characters that feel like either my best friends or my worst frenemies.
To be honest, sometimes, when I get to the end of a great story, it feels like my best friends all got up and moved away. It would be sad if it didn't mean the story found me when I needed it the most. Recently, there have been three storylines that I have been obsessed with: Ugly Betty, The Crown, and It's a Wonderful Life. Yes, I know the last one is a movie.
Maybe it's my (genuine) ADHD, but I see these seemingly separate stories as connected by a single, strong thread. When you pull on that thread, you can feel the tension between personal fulfillment and obligations, authenticity versus safety, and dreams versus tradition. It's the struggle of what I want for myself versus what the world wants of me--as I perceive it.
As I watched these stories this year, I asked what sacrifices people are willing to make to stay true to themselves? I see how these decisions impact their relationships and personal fulfillment, and I wonder to what extent pursuing personal dreams is an ongoing process. I watch that pursuit evolve over time for the characters in these narratives, and I think about how my life is changing and the divergent paths ahead. At times, I am ecstatic with possibility; other times, I am paralyzed by my lack of will to choose an option before me. My friend Betty might agree.
Ugly Betty
I am a big fan of complete stories with character arcs that move seamlessly with the plot. Novelas- those "soap operas" from Spanish-speaking countries get a bad rep for their over-acting and dramatics. While a certain amount of those tropes are part of the fun for the audience, there's a reason we say "telenovela" and not soap opera when we talk about them. Soap opera is a term that just does not do them justice. They ARE TV novels; they are stories with a beginning, middle, and an end and the best novelas are the ones that you grieve when they are over.
When Hispanic Heritage Month started this year, Netflix suggested several titles to celebrate, and I jumped on it. I never really watched Ugly Betty. Ugly Betty ran from September of 2006 to April of 2010. During that time, my life was a two-worlds experience; I taught Spanish by day and interacted while I interacted with mainstream USA in the suburban Catholic schools I was a part of. The faculty lounge was always buzzing with what everyone had seen on TV the night before. At night, I went home to my then-husband, who was from Mexico and spoke almost exclusively Spanish and our two children. We spoke Spanish at home, watched TV in Spanish, etc.
That time at the end of the 00s decade was the last "Did you see it?" Era. This was when our culture was still partially held together by the collective experience shared by a general audience. We saw things together in real-time, and we reacted to them that way too.
The held together by collective experience part was the same for Spanish speakers, except that the collective experiences weren't the same for us. My kids watched Dora on the Spanish channel, so she spoke Spanish with sprinkled English words. Boots was "Botas," and "Swiper" was simply "Zorro." I didn't watch Lost at home. I watched Don Fransico Presenta and Sabado Gigante.
At the time Ugly Betty was rolling out to an American Audience, I had already been there done that with "Yo soy Betty, la fea" and was way more into the sagas of la Gaviota in Destilando Amor. I was confident that my English-speaking colleagues were the ones that were missing out. They would tell me about this or that show, and I tried to feign interest, but as a mom of young kids, I didn't have the energy to keep up with their stories, and to be honest, I can be snobby.
I am a snob about my coffee. I insist on barista brews over anything from a gas station. I could go on about the proper temperature to make coffee and how a great cup is an art and a science. Still, you probably aren't interested if you are not a coffee drinker (and an equally snobby aficionado).
There is also a snobby part of me that felt possessive about the aspects of culturas Latinas that I had incorporated into my personality as a Spanish speaker. My Shakira had dark hair and sang in Spanish; my Ricky Martin wasn't a household name among my English-speaking friends. I knew all about Betty, la fea, but Ugly Betty?
Seriously, English-speaking world, do you have to have everything that everyone else has?
I know, I know, dinero. I wasn't sure I wanted to watch this "new" USA-focused version of Betty.
I liked Betty Colombiana just the way she was. Can I help it if I was a little resistant to a retelling of a story that I felt privileged to already know? It's the zero-sum mindset that is so pervasive in our culture. You know, the one where we believe that there is only so much of a good thing to go around, so if I have something unique and you get something equally impressive, somehow, it doesn't seem equal, but like you took something I had. It's flawed thinking, but we do it all the time, and it is another conversation for another day.
So, due to my snobbery, I am late to the game. It's thirteen years later, and I am just now discovering the beauty of the Betties.
Ugly Betty, starring America Ferrera, tells the story of an awkward girl who aspires to be a writer and magazine editor writing pieces about serious topics. She lands a job at a high-powered fashion magazine because she's seen as "not a temptation" for her new boss, Daniel.
As the story continues, Betty struggles to be taken seriously. She works magic behind the scenes and holds together situations that seem impossible at times, repeatedly saving the magazine from ruin. Despite taking on more responsibility, she often goes without credit for her role in the magazine's publications. Ever the caregiver, she struggles to put her dreams first and go after them. Romantic feelings, la familia, and even her loyalty to the company and people that gave her a start are often the central conflicts in her efforts to achieve her dreams. Authenticity is a major theme of Betty's saga. She continually struggles to find ways to honor her unique style and heritage as a Latina.
Maybe it isn't a surprise that I felt so drawn to Betty. Her dreams are closely aligned with mine. I don't want to be an editor of a big magazine, but I want to tell stories that matter to anyone who listens.
When I look at the four seasons of Betty, I wonder if I put myself on a scale of Betty from 1 to 5, with 1 being the beginning of season 1, 2 being the beginning of season 2, and so on, with 5 being the end of season 4, where would I be right now. How close am I to achieving the level of authenticity in the pursuit of my dreams that Betty finds while pursuing hers.
So, spoiler alert (if you can call it that, after 13 years), Betty does it all because she is one of the bravest people I know, and her bravery and positive spirit profoundly impact those around her. I am in awe of Betty, and I wish I could book a flight tomorrow to sit down over coffee with her and catch up over the last 13 years. I have questions for her--so many questions.
The Crown
Another personal confession: I still need to finish Season 5. It took me a while to get through Ugly Betty, partly because I didn't want to say goodbye to her. But I loved the first four seasons of The Crown.
I was particularly drawn to the storylines at the beginning of the series because they had a way of introducing people so that you either loved them or hated them, only to flip everything you thought you knew about that person on its head in the next episode.
The contrasting portrayals were something I loved because they created a crazy dissonance. Everyone was so nuanced and controversial, and so much of how you might view a person depended on whose eyes you saw their story through. Love them or hate them, they are a family of fellow humans, and the drama is plausible. No one knows how accurate the stories are to the people they pretend to represent, but there is truth in their tales regardless of whether or not the dialogue or events match lived experience. It is difficult not to feel for these characters as they are portrayed on screen.
Regardless of which member of the Royal Family the storyline is focused on at a given moment, the struggle is similar to Betty's. The royal context emphasizes obligation and expectations. It's not just a duty to family or loyalty to those who've helped one on their way; it's the crown and country and the Church of England.
Every character, in one way or another, seems to be asking:
How can I balance my aspirations with the responsibilities of my role?
To what extent should external forces like societal expectations influence my pursuit of my dreams?
Can I achieve personal fulfillment while conforming to traditional expectations and obligations?
What role does self-discovery play in the journey of being true to myself? And how do I figure out who I am in the context of royal duties? With the whole world watching?
Can I navigate the tension between personal desires and the greater good of the nation? How?
These questions seem daunting. They may be exaggerated or appear much higher in stakes because of how publicly they play out.
The general public would consider intimate moments like being in the embrace of someone you've fallen in love with or grieving the loss of a loved one in a terrible tragedy as none of anyone else's business. Still, time after time, individuals of the Royal Family seem to be asking for just enough grace to be themselves--whomever they are.
No one watches me that closely or really cares that much about how I interact with the world, yet I can identify with the tension as I imagine Betty could. Betty and Princess Diana could have had quite the conversation about what it means to be a woman with engendered expectations of their roles--about what it costs to be authentically yourself and have dreams of your own.
You don't have to be a princess or the Queen to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. When I feel like the whole world is crashing down, I need to find the smallest piece of the world I control and focus on that small piece. If I can find a way to make my focus even smaller, zoom in on something beautiful or the tiniest fragment of time. If I can live there in that moment, the piece of the world I am carrying with me on the scale is not so spine-crushingly heavy. If I can focus on the itsy-bitsy elements of my life, well...
It's a Wonderful Life
It might seem a little far-fetched to connect a flop of a film from 1946 to the series that I just described, but...
Hold on a moment. Do you mean you didn't know It's a Wonderful Life was a flop?
It most certainly was a complete failure. The Baily Bros. Mortgage and Loan in Bedford Falls might have weathered the storm, but the film left the studio that produced it in financial ruin, forcing its closure and arguably ending director Frank Capra's career. The movie was introduced to theatres in December 1946 and ran through January 1947 in the hopes of securing Oscar nominations, but by the time its run was over, it had lost $525,000. If you're wondering, like I did, what that would mean in 2023 money, try over $7.2 million on for size. (Side note: I really need to find a way to time travel).
Fun fact: it only became a Christmas staple when the copyright holders let things lapse because why bother owning something so worthless. Free was the right price for TV stations, so in 1974, what happened?
TV stations began showing It's a Wonderful Life as much as they could get away with because it was all profit for them. Crazy for a film that was investigated by the FBI for being communist propaganda because, of course, it was.
Remind me to write another post sometime where I talk about stories and their uncanny ability to scare the pants off of people and why that is.
If you aren't familiar with It's a Wonderful Life, I make no apologies for spoilers here. This movie predates my parents' births by an entire decade. But for completeness sake, I'll summarize.
The story revolves around a compassionate and selfless man, George Bailey (played by James Stewart). We encounter George as a happy and responsible boy who saves his kid brother from drowning. We watch as he prevents the pharmacist he works for from a terrible slip-up in a moment of grief, presumably saving the life of another boy; we see that even as a boy, he is a "Man of his word" and acts with great integrity guarding what could be a disastrous secret. As a young man, we see his dream of traveling the world only to answer the call of family obligation and take over the family business--a business that we learn is central to the success of the town's people. Time and time again, we watch George defer his dreams for things he didn't ask for, like love.
He would lasso the moon for Mary Hatch (Donna Reed). He marries her, and the two find a way to start a life on a shoestring, moving into an abandoned property. We watch George and Mary sacrifice much, but as the plot thickens, we learn that George, facing financial ruin and personal despair, contemplates suicide on Christmas Eve.
In answer to the prayers of Mary (now the Mrs.), their four children, and many friends in their small town, heaven above sends an angel named Clarence (Henry Travers) to show George what life in his town of Bedford Falls would have been like had he never existed. Through a series of poignant and transformative scenes, George realizes the profound impact he has had on the lives of others. He gains a renewed appreciation for the value of family, community, and the simple joys of life. The film is a heartwarming exploration of the importance of individual contributions to the well-being of others and the realization that every life, no matter how ordinary and itsy-bitsy, has a meaningful impact.
Though delayed, the film "It's a Wonderful Life" has profoundly impacted our broader culture, so much so that other shows and movies have paid homage to it through allusions and parody. Ugly Betty Season 4 Episode 17, "Million Dollar Smile," is known as the "It's a Wonderful Life" episode. In it, Betty's new orthodontist, Dr. Frankel (Kathy Najimy), appears to her in a dream and shows her how her life would have been different had she had perfect teeth. Surprisingly, everything is different, and she doesn't like the person she would have been without the need for braces.
In It's a Wonderful Life, George laments not putting himself first and going after his dreams but develops a new appreciation for his little place in the world and his accomplishments within Bedford Falls. His wanderlust is tempered by the realization that his life has a purpose he hadn't imagined and blessings he has forgotten in his despair. By contrast, Betty's vision helps her to accept herself and go after her dreams, aware of what has shaped her experiences and who she has become. Like George, she becomes acutely aware of the positive effects that her life has had on those around her. As her story continues, she will have to wrestle with trying to be happy with where she is, knowing that the people around her benefit from her being there or going after her dreams and distancing herself from everything and everyone familiar.
That's the crazy part of life I haven't figured out how to reckon with yet: how to let go of the road not taken. Life is the crazy choose-your-own-adventure story that we only get to read once (as far as we know). Every choice subtracts possibilities from the equation, and I don't know about you, but the older I get, the weirder I feel about the ships that have sailed. I have seen your highlight reels online so many times. I think, "What did she do to get that?" No offense or anything; sometimes, I look at my accomplishments, and it doesn't seem like I get the credit I deserve for the things I do well.
That could be the connection to It's a Wonderful Life--not George Bailey but Frank Capra, the director of It's a Wonderful Life and co-founder of the movie studio that produced it. In 1982, Capra finally got the applause he was owed for what has become part of our mythology and culture. Think about it: how many movies over 75 years old can you recite lines from? There are references to it in The Gremlins, Home Alone, The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire, The Simpsons, and even Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Capra received the American Film Institute's Lifetime Achievement Award and gave this advice,
I say a word to this new generation: Don't follow trends. Start. Don't compromise. Believe in yourself because only the valiant can create. Only the daring should make films, and only the morally courageous are worthy of speaking to their fellow man for two hours in the dark.
Capra said that all of his films were about his love for people and two simple principles: the freedom of individuals and the importance of each individual person. I can see that reflected in his work and the advice to not follow trends but start--has my friend Betty's name all over it. Maybe, like Betty, you are off to pursue your passions, having discovered that your valiance and persistence brought positivity to everyone around you. Perhaps you're daring to color outside the lines of tradition and obligation to follow your heart without compromise like a rogue royal? Perhaps you are more like George and learning that the road you chose to get where you are might have been the best all along and that you are exactly where you need to be? Like Frank, you can look back on your life with humor without regret, even though doing things your way has a cost. Whichever of those stories resonates most with you now, I hope it gives you the strength to grab a purple pen and write your story how you want to tell it.
Dear Miss Darling,
Capra was right. You are in the driver's seat of your life. You can choose when to brake, accelerate, and in what direction to head. Wherever it is you are right now, you matter. You have questions: so many questions, so many what-ifs, and possibilities. Stay with those questions; questions are curiosity, and curiosity is the spark that ignites brilliance. Live in those possibilities because where it is possible, there is hope. Be brave like Betty, and you are a Queen; life just spared you the formal title to make it a little easier for you to do what you were meant to do. So go ahead and color outside the lines like the royal rebel you are.
With Love,
Lailah
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References:
No Braces - TV Fanatic. https://www.tvfanatic.com/gallery/no-braces/
What Happened To The Cast Of It's A Wonderful Life After It Came Out?. https://www.grunge.com/675477/what-happened-to-the-cast-of-its-a-wonderful-life-after-it-came-out/
Frank Capra Accepts the 10th AFI Life Achievement Award in 1982 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t746ZVw09P4
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